Isn't it interesting how popular music artists go through different chapters in their careers. Michael Jackson, for example:
The Chapter 1 stage consisted of being a talented little kid with dark skin and a great voice. Chapter 2 was the phase of slighty plastic appearance but still perhaps the world's greatest entertainer with incredable dance moves, churning out pop hits like it was easy. In Chapter 3 he became a talentless white guy living off past glories. Then came Chapter 4, the controversial "paedophile" stage. I'll be the first to admit I wasn't a fan of Michael Jackson as a paedophile, so I was very pleased to see him move onto Chapter 5, where he made the excellent career move of dying and reminding us how great he was.
It's like this for many contemporary artists, they go through Chapter in their careers too, except that these days there are several easily defined career paths for the modern music maker.
For a female:
1) Write a popular and succesful album, instilling the virtues that you don't need to get naked to sell records.
1a) Optional: Hint that you could well be A) a lesbian or B) a man
2) Release a mediocre record, but achieve decent sales figures because your music videos have virtually constant shots of your tits, arse or other bare body parts.
3) Become an overweight alcoholic whose career will eventually be saved by the book deal you recieve for writing about your experiences as a single mother bringing up your kids whilst addicted to the sauce.
4) Fund your retirement by sparodically selling pictures from your wedding/holiday/funeral to HEAT magazine.
Easy.
You also forgot another 3 others:
ReplyDelete5) Go on a reality TV show so that people will like you and buy your mediocre single that (suprise suprise!) is set for release few weeks after the show ends.
^) Deprive your famous husband of sexy time, resulting in him finding it elsewhere in the skip. Because these skets are so attention seeking, they will eventually go to the press to sell their story. Get angry and depressed and show it to the world by flying off to some tropical islands. When you come back, the public will feel sorry for you and buy your records.
7) Become a judge on a popular reality TV show. Make sure you cry every time a sob story comes along..overall, play the 'nice judge'. Inevitably, you will get to perform your single on the show and people will buy it coz they love you as a judge and a person.