Wednesday 21 March 2012

Ladybird.

How emasculating must it be to be a male ladybird? I mean, the name of your species is just two different words for women.

...

Thank you!

I've been working on that joke for about half a year now.

It's still not funny.

I'll keep you updated on any progress.

Tune in next time for a rant about Fabrice Muamba and some more bashing of religion.

Thursday 8 March 2012

When I'm 40.

Someone asked me recently what I thought my life would be like when I was 40.

I don't really know. I think a lot of problems might come down to things beyond my control. But I did imagine that I would be able to write the following sentence:

"When I was in my early twenties I wrote a blog. I had a few sweeping generalisations of what I thought the world might be like, but no actual experience. As such it descended fairly quickly into effectively an open diary available 24 hours a day to allow anyone with any interest in my personality to have the mystery excluded from them almost immediately."

Is it worrying that I'm planning such pessimistic sentences 17 years before they will be applicable to write.

I worry sometimes that part of the problem is a lot of the opinions that I currently have wont make any sense until I'm in my forties, and by then it will be too late to use them as anything other than depressing nostalgia.

I remember Stewart Lee saying that his on stage personality has always been effectively the same: a world-weary man with wise Liberal pessimism, but that the character only really makes sense as an older man who is seemingly more capable of the knowledge that his opinions are correct.