iPhones, and why they annoy me.

iPhones. I hate them. And everyone who has one. Ergo, everyone.

Now, I know what you're thinking.

I have a history on this blog of disliking a lot more things than I like.

I also have a history of explosive jealousy, so I confidently expect you to pass off my hatred of iPhones on the basis that I don't have one, and would probably like it if I did. So please don't take it too seriously.

Nevertheless, I dislike them very much.


I'm not big on technology as fashion, for one thing. Because for a lot of people what has essentially happened is they have seen people with iPhones and made the subliminal calculation that they will soon become un-cool if they don't own one too.

In the most basic terms, I see an obvious analogy in chavs buying Burberry caps.


Although I'll admit that if this was the case many of those iPhones I hate, would be aPhones, or ePhones, and would almost certainly have been stolen.


Now, I'm not trying to suggest everyone who has an iPhone, has one because they are trying to be cool. But there are a number of other reasons that I don't like them.

It's the death of intelligence.
I remember when if you knew something, that was a good thing, because you were smart enough to learn it, and therefore you could distinguish between when someone was intelligent, and when someone was thick.

Now, if someone uses the word "escadrille" and you don't know what it means, you can just turn on your iPhone and look it up on your tiny screen.

I am aware there are almost limitless problems with this argument, and I can't be bothered to go into why these problems are unimportant. The point is it appears to have made learning something a bit of an outdated concept, and that seems a bit sad.

Buying an iPhone 3G 8GB means you have spent £350 on Tesco.com (other retailers are available). That's quite a lot of money for a phone, and yes I know you can easily spend more if you want to, and it's your money and you can spend it on whatever you want.

But you didn't have to. Other phones, cheaper phones that call people just as well (probably better, actually, due to this "holding it wrong" malarkey) are available. But no, you chose an iPhone, and you lose my respect for doing so.