I dont even know why. I felt like crying. I dont actually have an explanation.
It went away though, and I'm actually in a good mood now, but for some reason I woke up, and something was wrong with the world. I dont remember dreaming anything bad, or going to sleep with anything unusually horrific in my head. It was just a kind of feeling, I've experienced it before, but never without actually knowing what I was supposed to be upset about. Weird.
Anyway, as I said, good mood. It's even sunny in Wolverhampton and that is always good for my morale. I proof read and handed in my dissertation to boot, so all is good. On that note, University of Wolverhampton's ridiculously mis-titled "Here 2 Help" department are a pathetic excuse.
If I worked there it would seriously take me some training to be that unhelpful. Sent me to the wrong place three times, and didnt have a fucking clue, and then talked to me as if I was stupid, when it was their mistake. I would struggle to cause that many problems for students.
Now, for a new section of this blog, impressively titled :
The Culinary Adventures Of David Wells
I have decided to share with you, my dedicated readership the benefits of my experience of cooking literally some dinners for myself.
Let us first re-visit my most recent innovation. It was a chili con carne, but with several fabulously exciting (perhaps to the point of sexual arousal [I am yet to decide]) and lip-licking twists.
Now many so called "chefs" might tell you that a good chili is almost made with the finest quality beef mince. This is deeply flawed. Beef is expensive, you see, and with the credit crunch in full swing we must all make cut backs. I'm even omitting the Quails Egg and Caviar starter that has become synonymous with Wolverhampton cuisine.
For this recipe I chose to use (and the weaker amongst you might wish to make sure you are seated for this) TURKEY mince. I know what you're thinking, but dont worry, it's okay. I am a fucking rebel.
Now of course turkey does not taste as good as beef, in fact it doesnt really taste of very much at all. That's why the next ingredient is so crucial. It is infact a beef stock cube (please note at this point that this is not a recipe, it is purely a list of ingredients I used to make my chili, if you try to cook it in this order you will be left with a piece of shit). The beef stock cube brings in some nice meaty flavour, and tricks your mind into thinking that you have beaten the credit crunch.
Next on our rivetting kitchen based journey is the addition of Marmite. Some people, of course, dont like marmite, however, I am strongly of the belief that these people should be registered as having some sort of mental disability (I accept that not everyone agrees with me on this point). Even if you dont like marmite, you dont need to worry, cos you cant taste it. What it does is give the chili an impressive Sir-Alan-Sugar-sized richness.
The next ingredient is the flavouring. Now, I like my chili very spicy, so I used a lot of red chili powder, paprika, cumin, and even a little cinnamon. Thats how cool I am. If you like it less spicy then you could... not do that (I never promised this guide would be good).
Now we the final, and most controversal aspect of the cooking. Right near the end. The chopped tomatoes and tomato puree had gone in and had been simmering for half an hour or so. Now usually at this point, conventions dictate I add a can of red kidney beans.
...
But I didnt.
I know. Shocking. I used something different.
I used "white kidney beans".
This is because I am a horrible racist.
It is was a good chili. Coulda been a little spicier actually.
Tune in next time, when I share with you the secrets of my speciality of Scouring the Cupboards For Something Nice.
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