Bikes, and how they are more important than people.

People who ride a bike must feel pretty good about themselves.

They are saving the environment by avoiding travelling in a horrible car, polluting the Earth. And they are staying in shape too, getting rid of the visual pollution of unsightly flab.

A form of athletic altruism, you might even say?

So, riding a bike is, in theory, a very good thing.

Okay, so, it's a horrible day out there, so I was already in a bad mood. So you'll forgive me if the following rant about cyclists is grossly unfair.

But, you see, there is a situation when riding a bike can be extremely selfish. The situation I am referring to is when someone takes a bike on a train.

Because to take a bike on the train you have to have made an assumption. And the assumption is that everyone else isn't going to bring a bike. Because I promise you, if we did, there wouldn't be enough room.

A bike takes up the standing space of two people, and yet a cyclist doesn't have to pay extra. Selfishly, they have assumed that it is more important for their journey to have a cycle, than it is for the potential of two other people to stand comfortably.

Therefore, I propose that from today (why waste time?) it be necessary to buy a Bike Ticket for the train in addition to the standard ticket you buy. It could maybe cost half the price of a normal ticket (and here, I think you'll agree, I'm being very generous) and any cyclist found not to have one would receive an immediate on-the-spot fine of: execution.

I have spoken.

Taking offence.

I don't know if I made this point before but I'm fairly difficult to discriminate against.

Being white, male, young and (around the) middle class is certainly a good start. No physical or mental handicaps, no obscure religous beliefs, no obesity, no ginger hair.

Perhaps then, I am not in the best position to be lecturing people about when they are allowed to be offended. But I'm going to anyway.

Like when people complain to about TV shows that have a gay kiss, or too much violence, or something else that penetrates their narrow minded understanding of the world. It doesn't matter if you get offended. Just don't watch it. If anything, take from it that as long as they are not insiting hatred (and there is a clear fucking difference) words can't hurt you. Words can't do anything apart from in your mind.

Me; me, me.

Self deprecation, as far as I can see, is pretty much a pre-requisite for being a decent human being. There are few things worse in the world than people obsessed with how amazing they are, and how they can do no wrong.

I bring this up because I feel like self-importance is something that makes the world a worse place.

You can look at this at a very low level, such as someone pulling out rashly in a 4x4 (it's always a 4x4) making you slow down, and therefore everyone behind you slow down. They decided that them getting into the road 10 seconds quicker was more important than road safety and just general comfort of other people.

You can also look at it on a very high level, such as when a big business owner decides that it is important that he can make more money somewhere else, than it is to keep a less profitable aspect of the company in employment.

It's like people buying 10 tickets for a gig that is gonna sell-out, and selling on 8 of them at extortionate prices. See in this instance it was more important for that person to make some money than it was for 8 people to get tickets they wanted for the actual price.

Self-importance and selfishness seem to be very common.
And if there is one thing worth hating, I think it's that.