I'll admit now, that I know very little of the works of Justin Bieber.
If you are reading this blog post in the hope of establishing something of a better understanding of the innerworkings of Bieber's lyrical qualities, or perhaps hoping to find a piece of yet unrevealed information, you will go away bitterly dissappointed.
I know two things about Justin Bieber. Just two.
1) He is universally loved.
2) He is universally hated.
Now, take a quick look again.
These points appear to contradict each other. But it's an optical illusion. He is an optical illusion.
He is a 16-year-old boy with the appearance of a confident-within-her-sexuality 17-year-old lesbian.
Yet somehow he has managed to convince the massive majority of pubescent female Americans that he is the most attractive thing on Earth.
So, logically we're looking at a future in which all males are going to have to look like females. Or we are going to see a whole generation of in vitro babies.
Showing posts with label gay. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gay. Show all posts
Monday, 25 October 2010
Tuesday, 12 October 2010
The Gay Side, and how it definitely existed.
Trying to explain "the gay side" to people who didn't go to Manor Hall Middle School is something of a challenge.
Walk into the boys toilets and there are a series of cubicles first, followed by two long, steel urinals, one on the right hand side, and one on the left.
Everyone went to the right hand side.
This is because the left hand side was "the gay side".
Even if there was a queue, everybody patiently waited.
Those poor kids who were not aware of "the gay side" on their first visit, would be mocked insessantly.
"Look," said the chorus from the right side "he's on the gay side!"
Those kids learned quick. We all did.
No-one questioned "the gay side". No-one, no matter how badly they needed the toilet, questioned the ludicrousness of this unwritten rule.
Perhaps the rule was true. I mean, I never used the gay side, and have remained straight. Although I don't think the gay side ever implied that it was exclusively for homosexuals, or indeed made someone a homosexual.
It was just "the gay side", and it was avoided.
Walk into the boys toilets and there are a series of cubicles first, followed by two long, steel urinals, one on the right hand side, and one on the left.
Everyone went to the right hand side.
This is because the left hand side was "the gay side".
Even if there was a queue, everybody patiently waited.
Those poor kids who were not aware of "the gay side" on their first visit, would be mocked insessantly.
"Look," said the chorus from the right side "he's on the gay side!"
Those kids learned quick. We all did.
No-one questioned "the gay side". No-one, no matter how badly they needed the toilet, questioned the ludicrousness of this unwritten rule.
Perhaps the rule was true. I mean, I never used the gay side, and have remained straight. Although I don't think the gay side ever implied that it was exclusively for homosexuals, or indeed made someone a homosexual.
It was just "the gay side", and it was avoided.
Saturday, 7 August 2010
Proud.
Another year passes, and Pride has come to Brighton. And I'm missing it. Again.
The reason that I am not attending is because I have found myself to be very much like an old man.
No, not because I am a brainless bigot and I can't accept that homosexuality is a natural, biological occurance, and not a choice made purely to antagonise society.
I am missing Pride because I have a bad back.
It has been a while since I've been, and all of the times I've missed it, I would have gone if I could. I won't bore you with the details.
However, Pride is an interesting time in Brighton. It is interesting because it is something that is associated with Brighton across the UK. Brighton is known as the "gay capital of Britain".
What this tends to mean is that whenever you go anywhere that isn't Brighton, and say, "I'm from Brighton", you are asked, almost instinctively "are you gay?"
To answer that question, allow me to quote you the 2001 census, which admittedly is 9 years of date, but you'll get over it.
1.29% of households in Brighton are same-sex. That's right, 1.29%. Not 100.29%. Not even 12.9%. 1.29%.
It's difficult to tell how many people are gay, because it's a dificult thing to define before you bring in bi-sexuals, or bi-curiousity. But estimates suggest between 8 and 13% of Brighton is gay.
Don't get me wrong, that's very high. Wolverhampton, for example, has a percentage of gay people in the minus numbers. The standard across the UK is 2-3%. Note, these numbers are highly debatable.
Nevertheless, that means there is an 87-92% chance that I am not gay.
Possibly the fact that I'm wearing a Power Rangers t-shirt and own 2 seperate Backstreet Boys albums reduces that percentage considerably, but it's still a bit unfair.
Not everyone in Brighton is gay, I can confirm that now. The one's that are, in my experience, tend to be good people with infinitely more good character than those people who would torment them for their sexuality.
However, I feel a little guilty just saying that. Putting theall gay people in the same category, as if a single characteristic like that defines the rest of their personality. I don't do this, for example, for people with green eyes, or taste in literature. I'll do my best not to do it in future.
I hope Pride goes great.
The reason that I am not attending is because I have found myself to be very much like an old man.
No, not because I am a brainless bigot and I can't accept that homosexuality is a natural, biological occurance, and not a choice made purely to antagonise society.
I am missing Pride because I have a bad back.
It has been a while since I've been, and all of the times I've missed it, I would have gone if I could. I won't bore you with the details.
However, Pride is an interesting time in Brighton. It is interesting because it is something that is associated with Brighton across the UK. Brighton is known as the "gay capital of Britain".
What this tends to mean is that whenever you go anywhere that isn't Brighton, and say, "I'm from Brighton", you are asked, almost instinctively "are you gay?"
To answer that question, allow me to quote you the 2001 census, which admittedly is 9 years of date, but you'll get over it.
1.29% of households in Brighton are same-sex. That's right, 1.29%. Not 100.29%. Not even 12.9%. 1.29%.
It's difficult to tell how many people are gay, because it's a dificult thing to define before you bring in bi-sexuals, or bi-curiousity. But estimates suggest between 8 and 13% of Brighton is gay.
Don't get me wrong, that's very high. Wolverhampton, for example, has a percentage of gay people in the minus numbers. The standard across the UK is 2-3%. Note, these numbers are highly debatable.
Nevertheless, that means there is an 87-92% chance that I am not gay.
Possibly the fact that I'm wearing a Power Rangers t-shirt and own 2 seperate Backstreet Boys albums reduces that percentage considerably, but it's still a bit unfair.
Not everyone in Brighton is gay, I can confirm that now. The one's that are, in my experience, tend to be good people with infinitely more good character than those people who would torment them for their sexuality.
However, I feel a little guilty just saying that. Putting theall gay people in the same category, as if a single characteristic like that defines the rest of their personality. I don't do this, for example, for people with green eyes, or taste in literature. I'll do my best not to do it in future.
I hope Pride goes great.
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