Where's my cocaine?

OK, so I've come to the conclusion that alcohol is the world's worst evil.
And unlike the usual "I'm NEVER DRINKING AGAIN!!!" moment, I've come to this decision not after a heavy night of drinking and with a raging hangover. I've come to this decision sober. Sober as hell.

Alcohol ruins us. It makes us sad and depressed. It makes us angry and aggressive. It makes us arrogant and loud-mouthed. It makes us childish. It makes it uncomfortable for non-drunks to be around us. It makes us lose money. It makes us stupid. It makes us forgiving in the wrong situations. It makes good guys wankers, and it makes sweet girls whores. We make the excuse that it gives us confidence, but really it just lowers our standards. It makes us abandon our friends. It makes us say things we don't mean.

And for what?
What are the benefits?

I mean, things are good after a couple of drinks I'll grant you. The high isn't even that good, and the second you push it too far you're virtually guaranteeing that you'll do something to make an idiot out of yourself.

So I've decided I'm giving up drinking.

And I'm going to start doing cocaine.
That's right full on cocaine.
No feeder drugs. No pussyfooting around. I'm going to snort that white powder till it rots my nasal cartalidge. I won't take it too far, I'll be sensible.

Of course, I am missing out one major problem. And it's a problem that has vexed me ever since my decision to give up alcohol a few minutes ago.

What the fuck do you drink?

I don't mean on a night out (on a night out I'll certainly enjoy the irony in going to the bar and ordering a Coke) I mean what do you drink when you get it and just want to have a sit down and relax during the evening.

Wine and beer are quite literally the ONLY savory cold drinks outside of water and milk. (Hot drinks should always be sweet, I think).
I'm not asking for much. A savory drink. I don't like sweet. I like savory.
Coke etc.? Fruit juice? Squash? Shloer?
You could have non-alcoholic beer, but I think that's missing the point really.
Feel free to offer suggestions, I would LOVE to be proved wrong.

Maybe instead of Coke, I'll just dissolve a teaspoon of cocaine in my water and drink that. It's gotta be good.