FTSE.

There's a lot of things they never teach you at school. Or ever.

The FTSE for example.

You hear it every day on the news.
'The FTSE is down', 'The FTSE is up', but what the fuck is it? And what the fuck is the Dow Jones for that matter? AND why do they have such obscure and completely different names?

And also, why is it the FTSE. But it's pronounced "footsie". It's clearly a fucking acronym. It's clearly the "eff-tee-ess-ee".

The only "footsie" I'd ever heard happens when you're sitting at a table and accidentally briefly clash feet with an elderley relative.

"Ooooooooooooooooooh are you playing footsie with me?"

No.
No I wasn't. It's a table and there is limited space beneath it. I wasn't try to solicit mild sexual stimulation with a member of my own family. The suggestion repulses me.

So, the constant reference to it on the BBC and (I presume) other news programmes, I have no basis for understanding the concept.