I logged onto Facebook several hours after the Man City victory over QPR to win the Premier League title for the first time in decades.
I watched the whole match and was a little disappointed when City won. But I certainly wasn't cut up about it. I'll explain the situation in a minute.
But loading up Facebook I was caught off guard with the number of statuses proclaiming that this was the greatest football league in the world and that it was an epic end to the season.
OK, I'm sorry but did you watch the match? I did. It was this:
11 of the world's best and most highly-paid players held the ball and continuously, and rather ineptly, attempted to score goals. The 11 QPR players sat in their back third and just blocked every shot and defended well.
City got a lucky ricochet goal. Then QPR against the odds, and against the grain of the game, scored a breakaway goal. Revert back to the original style of City hammering them with any actual skill or talent just force of numbers. No incisive dribbling. No beautiful silky skills. Just a team of better players trying to score goals against a team of lesser.
Imagine if at school all the best players had got together and played aginst the worst players... well that's what it was like.
Joey Barton, QPR's captain, elbowed City's Carlos Tevez in the face and got sent off. I kinda wish that QPR had been facing relegation if they had lost, maybe then the stupidity and pointlessness of Barton's action might have had a consequence he could appreciate. But anyway.
Now it was 11 of the world's best players against 10 lesser players. Same thing happened. Boring. Tedious.
Then a breakaway and Manchester City's overpaid defenders were once again exposed. 2-1 to QPR and City's inconsistency (a consequence of being a team of players who played for the highest bidder) looked like it might be thier undoing.
Revet to the same thing as before. Frustrated City and QPR sitting 10-men behind the ball. It was nerve-wracking but boy was it boring.
Eventually it became too much for QPR. The news had reached them that Stoke had equalised against Bolton, meaning that the result of the match become inconsequential to them. Man City scored two goals, one in the last minute.
Surprisng? No, not really. It should have all happened much earlier in the match.
A brilliant example of football? No, it was 95 minutes of last-ditch defending punctuated by a few instances of luck.
That's what constitutes the best league in the world?
Think before you fucking speak. And definitely think before you post idiotic stuff on Facebook.
Sunday, 13 May 2012
Thursday, 26 April 2012
Wednesday, 25 April 2012
New blog
I'm exporting all of the atheist and argumentative stuff onto my new blog which can be found at http://themilitantskeptic.wordpress.com .
There should be some interesting controversial opinions on there from time to time, so please read it. Thanks.
There should be some interesting controversial opinions on there from time to time, so please read it. Thanks.
Sunday, 22 April 2012
Disappointment.
Disappointment is a recurring theme in my life and, interestingly rhyming, the only recurring dream that I can remember.
I would never ever ever suggest that I have a difficult life. I know I have it easy, and live in relative excruciating wealth and happiness compared the massive majority of people who are alive, have ever lived and, in all probability, will ever live. But disappointment is something that can happen to anyone, regardless of the overall generally quality of their life. I get disappointed an awful lot.
People always act exactly as I expect them to. But I always forget that.
I would never ever ever suggest that I have a difficult life. I know I have it easy, and live in relative excruciating wealth and happiness compared the massive majority of people who are alive, have ever lived and, in all probability, will ever live. But disappointment is something that can happen to anyone, regardless of the overall generally quality of their life. I get disappointed an awful lot.
People always act exactly as I expect them to. But I always forget that.
Thursday, 19 April 2012
101 things not to do... 11 to 15
11. Don't have a website
The internet, as I will explain in a future post, is the scourge of modern society. Worse even than television (and I fucking hate television). It has defeated the concept of being intelligent. It has ruined social interaction. It has turned us into greedy, selfish people obsessed with our own perceived sense of entitlement.
12. Don't contradict yourself
There is nothing less attractive in a personality than to be a hypocrite. Have a bit of moral courage. Do feel free, however, to point out any contradictions that I might be a part of. If I have one aim in life these days, it's to get my ideology nailed down so I can decide exactly what I believe. That way my conversations can be even more didactic than they are presently.
13. Don't learn to juggle
Just don't.
14. Don't get a tattoo
Getting a tattoo is another classic way of expressing your individually just like everybody else is. Engrave onto your skin something that seems relevant at the time, and it's like putting on a necklace that you'll have to wear forever despite the fact that its gaudy and repulsive and makes you look like a 'rebellious' 14-year-old.
Again I know that some people who have the capacity, or indeed are likely to read this, have tattoos. I'm not presumptuous enough to believe that my hating tattoos and directing those comments at you will provoke anything more than mild laughter and disappointment that I don't empathise without your outlook on life. But if you are offended, please feel free to get a tattoo about how much you hate me. If nothing else at least it will be original.
15. Don't cheat
I've actually got two points to make here. Because when I said, don't cheat, a second ago, I meant it as in terms of not cheating at sports/tests etc. But I feel I should also say something about cheating in a relationship: fucking someone else, if you will.
OK so a little while back I was forced by circumstance to read one of those women's magazines they have now. Yeah you've seen 'em. And it laying out some statistics about men. And this particular statistic said "50% of men say they would never consider cheating on their girlfriend".
Let's think about that. Think of two men who you know. It doesn't matter who. That sentence means that statistically one of those two men you just thought of, is a full-on cunt. They would happily consider shitting all over the feelings of someone who they care about and who cares about them, just so they can get a little bit sex with someone new. That is a definition of selfishness.
Now onto the other type of cheating. I watch football. And I get annoyed when players dive or feign injury. I know a lot of people do. But I think that the punishment for cheating isn't nearly high enough. In cases where players deliberately fall over in order to win a penalty I would advocate the death penalty.
I've been frivolous now and suggested something hideous which undermines my point so let me try and reel it back in. Cheating is just pathetic. Certainly not limited to professional sports, I hate cheating wherever I see it. It's not fair that some people have to work hard and other people take the easy route. They should be ashamed.
The internet, as I will explain in a future post, is the scourge of modern society. Worse even than television (and I fucking hate television). It has defeated the concept of being intelligent. It has ruined social interaction. It has turned us into greedy, selfish people obsessed with our own perceived sense of entitlement.
12. Don't contradict yourself
There is nothing less attractive in a personality than to be a hypocrite. Have a bit of moral courage. Do feel free, however, to point out any contradictions that I might be a part of. If I have one aim in life these days, it's to get my ideology nailed down so I can decide exactly what I believe. That way my conversations can be even more didactic than they are presently.
13. Don't learn to juggle
Just don't.
14. Don't get a tattoo
Getting a tattoo is another classic way of expressing your individually just like everybody else is. Engrave onto your skin something that seems relevant at the time, and it's like putting on a necklace that you'll have to wear forever despite the fact that its gaudy and repulsive and makes you look like a 'rebellious' 14-year-old.
Again I know that some people who have the capacity, or indeed are likely to read this, have tattoos. I'm not presumptuous enough to believe that my hating tattoos and directing those comments at you will provoke anything more than mild laughter and disappointment that I don't empathise without your outlook on life. But if you are offended, please feel free to get a tattoo about how much you hate me. If nothing else at least it will be original.
15. Don't cheat
I've actually got two points to make here. Because when I said, don't cheat, a second ago, I meant it as in terms of not cheating at sports/tests etc. But I feel I should also say something about cheating in a relationship: fucking someone else, if you will.
OK so a little while back I was forced by circumstance to read one of those women's magazines they have now. Yeah you've seen 'em. And it laying out some statistics about men. And this particular statistic said "50% of men say they would never consider cheating on their girlfriend".
Let's think about that. Think of two men who you know. It doesn't matter who. That sentence means that statistically one of those two men you just thought of, is a full-on cunt. They would happily consider shitting all over the feelings of someone who they care about and who cares about them, just so they can get a little bit sex with someone new. That is a definition of selfishness.
Now onto the other type of cheating. I watch football. And I get annoyed when players dive or feign injury. I know a lot of people do. But I think that the punishment for cheating isn't nearly high enough. In cases where players deliberately fall over in order to win a penalty I would advocate the death penalty.
I've been frivolous now and suggested something hideous which undermines my point so let me try and reel it back in. Cheating is just pathetic. Certainly not limited to professional sports, I hate cheating wherever I see it. It's not fair that some people have to work hard and other people take the easy route. They should be ashamed.
Wednesday, 18 April 2012
101 things not to do... 6 to 10
6. Don't try being a vegetarian
Possibly a controversial as I know a few people who are vegetarians. In the main part they are kind people. But I always think that vegetarianism is a kind of misplaced kindess (I'm making the assumption here that people are vegetarians for ideological reasons rather than health/taste-bud issues). But being a vegetarian sounds like a positive thing for a kind, rational thinking person to be. But if you are going to go down that route, you have to be a vegan.
I can respect the ideological integrity and consistantcy of vegans. They know that animals shouldn't be used to do the bidding of humans. Vegetarians on the other hand, are simply avoiding the issue. They don't want to eat dead lamb because it's cruel. But they are completely fine with enslaving chickens to have a life where they simply make eggs to be stolen from them by farmers. They are completely fine with taking away baby cows from their mothers and forcing those mother cows to lactate until the end of their days.
Vegetarians can fuck off. It's vegan or nothing. And I am nothing.
7. Don't learn to play the guitar
This is another issue that everyone does it. I did it. But I did it before it was cool. I did it when it thoroughly wasn't cool. Not long after I got into we had a generation of former-chav indie kids picking up their guitars to write a musical crusade of endlessly dull pop songs about going out and getting drunk, all in laconic and styleless verse.
These days I just would recommend anything else simply because if you can be a decent bassist, keyboard player, drummer etc. then you'll have a plethora of talented guitarists to pick from when the inevitable happens and you attempt to form a band.
8. Don't ever watch any TV, ever
I hate television. I've explained before. I think our culture is infinitely worse for what television has done to us. Books are a rich and enlightening form of entertainment. You learn things from books; either facts or just things about yourself.
Television allows you to sit there mindlessly for hours without learning a single fact or discovering anything interesting that you couldn't already have guessed.
9. Don't swim with dolphins
Right, the only reason anyone likes fucking dolphins is because they look like they are constantly smiling. Male dolphins are known, during the mating season, to gang up together and pick off a female dolphin and basically beat her up, and then once she too tired to run away anymore they all get to mate with her.
Dolphins are just scumbag rapists. Don't go swimming with them. Lock them up with some great white sharks.
10. Don't go skydiving
People talk about it as if it's some fabled brave thing to do. Right, you know that you've got a parachute strapped to your back and a back-up parachute? And you'll have instructors who've been doing it for years. How many skydiving accidents do you really ever hear of? There's nothing brave about skydiving.
Overcome a real fear. Or do something that's genuinely amazing. Don't just let yourself drop for 10,000 feet. Gravity is one of the most important aspects of the universe. You'd think people would have gotten over the novelty of it by now.
Possibly a controversial as I know a few people who are vegetarians. In the main part they are kind people. But I always think that vegetarianism is a kind of misplaced kindess (I'm making the assumption here that people are vegetarians for ideological reasons rather than health/taste-bud issues). But being a vegetarian sounds like a positive thing for a kind, rational thinking person to be. But if you are going to go down that route, you have to be a vegan.
I can respect the ideological integrity and consistantcy of vegans. They know that animals shouldn't be used to do the bidding of humans. Vegetarians on the other hand, are simply avoiding the issue. They don't want to eat dead lamb because it's cruel. But they are completely fine with enslaving chickens to have a life where they simply make eggs to be stolen from them by farmers. They are completely fine with taking away baby cows from their mothers and forcing those mother cows to lactate until the end of their days.
Vegetarians can fuck off. It's vegan or nothing. And I am nothing.
7. Don't learn to play the guitar
This is another issue that everyone does it. I did it. But I did it before it was cool. I did it when it thoroughly wasn't cool. Not long after I got into we had a generation of former-chav indie kids picking up their guitars to write a musical crusade of endlessly dull pop songs about going out and getting drunk, all in laconic and styleless verse.
These days I just would recommend anything else simply because if you can be a decent bassist, keyboard player, drummer etc. then you'll have a plethora of talented guitarists to pick from when the inevitable happens and you attempt to form a band.
8. Don't ever watch any TV, ever
I hate television. I've explained before. I think our culture is infinitely worse for what television has done to us. Books are a rich and enlightening form of entertainment. You learn things from books; either facts or just things about yourself.
Television allows you to sit there mindlessly for hours without learning a single fact or discovering anything interesting that you couldn't already have guessed.
9. Don't swim with dolphins
Right, the only reason anyone likes fucking dolphins is because they look like they are constantly smiling. Male dolphins are known, during the mating season, to gang up together and pick off a female dolphin and basically beat her up, and then once she too tired to run away anymore they all get to mate with her.
Dolphins are just scumbag rapists. Don't go swimming with them. Lock them up with some great white sharks.
10. Don't go skydiving
People talk about it as if it's some fabled brave thing to do. Right, you know that you've got a parachute strapped to your back and a back-up parachute? And you'll have instructors who've been doing it for years. How many skydiving accidents do you really ever hear of? There's nothing brave about skydiving.
Overcome a real fear. Or do something that's genuinely amazing. Don't just let yourself drop for 10,000 feet. Gravity is one of the most important aspects of the universe. You'd think people would have gotten over the novelty of it by now.
Monday, 16 April 2012
101 things not to do... 1 to 5.
1. Don't visit Paris
Everyone bloody does it! Can't the romantic impulse in us extend to something more than the old cliche? Visiting Paris is the least romantic thing I can imagine because it means you've thought SO LITTLE about your partner, that the best idea you've got is to take them to Paris.
2. Don't run a marathon
I can't think of a more unbelievable waste of your time. If you like running, then go running, but to run for hours? No. Do something productive in that time. Write a book or something.
3. Don't write a book
To paraphrase Christopher Hitchens: everyone has a book in them, in most cases, that's where it should stay. IF you are a genius with a fantastic story to tell laced with wit and ambitious prose, then please go ahead. If you've just been laid off by Tesco and your reading experience is exactly: 4 of the Harry Potter novels, the Twilight series, and the sport section of The Sun every morning, then please, PLEASE do not write a book.
4. Don't climb Mount Everest
Every year about 10 people die trying to climb the fabled mountain. You're fat. Don't do it. Don't become a statistic.
5. Don't learn a language
Try mastering your own instead. This one goes out to anyone who says "bored of" or pronounces H "haitch". It's "aitch" you motherfuckers, AITCH.
Everyone bloody does it! Can't the romantic impulse in us extend to something more than the old cliche? Visiting Paris is the least romantic thing I can imagine because it means you've thought SO LITTLE about your partner, that the best idea you've got is to take them to Paris.
2. Don't run a marathon
I can't think of a more unbelievable waste of your time. If you like running, then go running, but to run for hours? No. Do something productive in that time. Write a book or something.
3. Don't write a book
To paraphrase Christopher Hitchens: everyone has a book in them, in most cases, that's where it should stay. IF you are a genius with a fantastic story to tell laced with wit and ambitious prose, then please go ahead. If you've just been laid off by Tesco and your reading experience is exactly: 4 of the Harry Potter novels, the Twilight series, and the sport section of The Sun every morning, then please, PLEASE do not write a book.
4. Don't climb Mount Everest
Every year about 10 people die trying to climb the fabled mountain. You're fat. Don't do it. Don't become a statistic.
5. Don't learn a language
Try mastering your own instead. This one goes out to anyone who says "bored of" or pronounces H "haitch". It's "aitch" you motherfuckers, AITCH.
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