I drink energy drinks, sometimes.
Red Bull, or the cheap Tesco equivalent usually.
I don't know why I do it.
I know it's tricking me.
On the packaging of my 'KX Energy Stimulation Drink' the largest letters read: "Fire up and focus your body and mind with stimulating caffeine, taurine, guarana and B Vitamins."
Aside from being an utterly ridiculous and clunky piece of advertising copy-writing, it is also, quite frankly rubbish.
Limited to the truth, the can would read:
"Fire up and focus your body and mind with the fuck load of sugar we pump into these things"
That's what gives you the energy boost. The sugar. Not the fucking guarana. The sugar!
One little 250ml can which I effectively down in about 2 or 3 minutes contains nearly 30% of my recommended daily intake of sugar.
I had two of them yesterday. 60% of my daily sugar in two cans of drink.
I don't even know why.
Why not use up that sugar on something that doesn't taste like someone has swallowed a whole packet of Skittles, let it reduce in their stomach acid for half an hour or so, then vomited it back into your mouth.
Showing posts with label advertising. Show all posts
Showing posts with label advertising. Show all posts
Thursday, 17 November 2011
Friday, 11 March 2011
Old advert.
My favourite thing of the day so far at work has been this advert from a copy of Lorna Doone by R.D Blackmore from 1891 (which I have valued at: nothing).
The advert reads as follows (the grammar and syntax are correct, and probably the best part):
BEETHAM'S FRAGRANT HAIR GROWER
Is a delightfully Refreshing and Strengthening application for the Hair, quite free from grease or dye, and, being rather more stimulating than the "Capillary Fluid," is recommended where the Hair is Falling Off very much. For Baldness, or where the Hair has Fallen in Patches, it has been found marvelously effectual in producing a fresh growth of Long Glossy Hair. It also entirely Removes all Dandruff, and keeps the Skin of the Head Clean and Healthy. Bottles 2s, 6d., 4s, 6d.
I much prefer this advert to the Regaine, hair regrowth product you see on the TV.
If I start losing my hair, I am going to use BEETHAM'S FRAGRANT HAIR GROWER.
It also has a better name.
The advert reads as follows (the grammar and syntax are correct, and probably the best part):
BEETHAM'S FRAGRANT HAIR GROWER
Is a delightfully Refreshing and Strengthening application for the Hair, quite free from grease or dye, and, being rather more stimulating than the "Capillary Fluid," is recommended where the Hair is Falling Off very much. For Baldness, or where the Hair has Fallen in Patches, it has been found marvelously effectual in producing a fresh growth of Long Glossy Hair. It also entirely Removes all Dandruff, and keeps the Skin of the Head Clean and Healthy. Bottles 2s, 6d., 4s, 6d.
I much prefer this advert to the Regaine, hair regrowth product you see on the TV.
If I start losing my hair, I am going to use BEETHAM'S FRAGRANT HAIR GROWER.
It also has a better name.
Wednesday, 10 November 2010
Mr Happy sold his soul to Specsavers.
"You should've gone to Specsavers, mate"
They might say. I imagine them having a strong London accent despite never having lived outside of a middle class neighbourhood of West Sussex.
Now, I hate Specsavers.
Their fabled slogan is so catchy that it became a perfect tool for bullies. I didn't wear glasses in school, but I even in my time as an adult I'm sure I've had someone come out with the dashing wit of being able to repeat a line they have heard in an advert.
Funnily enough I have never been to Specsavers. All my recent glasses/contact lens excursions have been in Vision Express. Perhaps subconsciously because Specsavers created a slogan to bully me... but more likely because Vision Express is easier to get to from my house.
Now, I'm not usually impressed by pieces of advertising.
In general, having been a media studies student since a-levels, I find myself analysing them rather than enjoying(?) them for what they are.
So this was an advertisement for Specsavers.
The detail for the story is vital.
Okay, so in my lunchtime routine of walking to the shops I have to walk down a fairly busy road with lots of side roads leading off from it. Cleverly, the advertisers have realised that lots of people walk down this road and so there are a number of billboards on the walls of the final buildings of the side roads.
So as you walk up the road, every side road you see a new billboard and advertisement. If you follow me.
Here is an example of what I mean.
So as you can see the billboard is on your left as you walk up the road, as I do on my way back from lunch.
As you walk towards this particular billboard obviously your view is partially obstructed by the houses in the road. So the first thing that you see is on the right off the advert.
And you read the words:
"Mr Happy should've gone to Specsavers"
And then as you walk a few metres closer, the other half of the billboard becomes visible and it's an image of Mr Happy with a big frowny face and some broken glasses.
I liked it.
They might say. I imagine them having a strong London accent despite never having lived outside of a middle class neighbourhood of West Sussex.
Now, I hate Specsavers.
Their fabled slogan is so catchy that it became a perfect tool for bullies. I didn't wear glasses in school, but I even in my time as an adult I'm sure I've had someone come out with the dashing wit of being able to repeat a line they have heard in an advert.
Funnily enough I have never been to Specsavers. All my recent glasses/contact lens excursions have been in Vision Express. Perhaps subconsciously because Specsavers created a slogan to bully me... but more likely because Vision Express is easier to get to from my house.
Now, I'm not usually impressed by pieces of advertising.
In general, having been a media studies student since a-levels, I find myself analysing them rather than enjoying(?) them for what they are.
So this was an advertisement for Specsavers.
The detail for the story is vital.
Okay, so in my lunchtime routine of walking to the shops I have to walk down a fairly busy road with lots of side roads leading off from it. Cleverly, the advertisers have realised that lots of people walk down this road and so there are a number of billboards on the walls of the final buildings of the side roads.
So as you walk up the road, every side road you see a new billboard and advertisement. If you follow me.
Here is an example of what I mean.
So as you can see the billboard is on your left as you walk up the road, as I do on my way back from lunch.
As you walk towards this particular billboard obviously your view is partially obstructed by the houses in the road. So the first thing that you see is on the right off the advert.
And you read the words:
"Mr Happy should've gone to Specsavers"
And then as you walk a few metres closer, the other half of the billboard becomes visible and it's an image of Mr Happy with a big frowny face and some broken glasses.
I liked it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)