Tuesday 27 July 2010

Keeping up appearances.

Patrick Stump is going bald.
If you don't know who Patrick Stump is, I bet you do.
He was the lead singer in Fall Out Boy, the chubby one who was always wearing a hat. He isn't chubby anymore, by the way, and nor does he wear a hat.

Fall Out Boy, comically Fell Out with each other and to all intents and purposes, broke up. They call it an indefinite hiatus these days to postpone the mass suicide of teenage fangirls until the record label can find a new prettyboy pop-rock band to make them forget all about how much they loved FOB.

Interestingly, throughout his Fall Out Boy career, Patrick Stump, the lead singer and guitarist, was never seen without a hat. This is because he is balding, and Pete Wentz, the bassist/lyricist/PR man/prettyboy/gets-his-dick-out-on-webcam/hinted at bi-curiosity/frontman-who-doesn't-sing banned him from being photographed/seen without a hat.

Aesthetics, clearly, were more important to Pete than reality. For some reason, his lead singer going bald meant that he thought Fall Out Boy's "fans" would be longer appreciate their music.
I'm not sure if that would be true. Either way it reflects pretty badly on Wentz's opinions of his fans and indeed the fans themselves. Were Fall Out Boy's fans really that shallow?
We will never know.

But don't worry Pete, you're in good company. Hitler did something similar. He was long-sighted, you see, and had great difficulty reading his speeches without glasses. However, Hitler believed that being seen in public wearing glasses would be a sign of weakness, so instead of doing so, he has all of his speeches printed in enourmous writing so he could see the words.

And that my friends is how Pete Wentz = Hitler.

1 comment:

  1. LMAO! This was a pretty funny blog. I didn't know they split...but then, I was 18/19 years old when I thought they were good.
    Just googled Patrick Stump...funnily enough he looks years younger now as a slim boy. As if kids care if a lead singers balding...if they couldn't care if Pete Doherty looks like a pasty, spotty hobo, then they wouldn't care about a small patch. And yes, I know Indie is a different genre, but still Indie kids are just as - or more even - image obsessed as Emo kids.

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